Mentally and Physically Exhausted

As much as I like my job, I hate it just as much, if not more!!!

I feel like all I do is work, work, work and there isn't even time for me to get a breather and get fluid into me, and omg.. what a miracle it is if I can squeeze in lunch!!! This is especially the case when I'm alone looking after the in-patients... I can only emphatise how Euan (my colleague who is currently on leave) must have felt when I was away in Brunei for three weeks!!!

So, for the past 8 working days I have been on my own... My 'administrative' work is piling up each day, and there just isn't enough time in my working hours to be doing them. As it is, I am already leaving work a good 30mins (at least) each day!!!

But anyway, I was both mentally and physically exhausted yesterday!!!

I had my third death in three days!!! Even when they are expected... Having three kinda did it for me!!! Especially when the third patient, kinda showed slight signs of improvement on the morning ward round!!

And I hate to be the bearer of bad news...

"I'm sorry. I'm afraid it is bad news. G has stopped breathing. By the time I was there, I couldn't feel a pulse, and he wasn't breathing. I'm afraid, G has passed away."

And then you get a big sob from the relatives, and just tears rolling down their cheeks... And surprisingly, some down my own cheeks too...

But you can't spend too much time with these relatives, as you have other jobs to do and other patients to see...

Right after that, I had to complete a letter I was writing to the coroner, with regards to the first death... Then do my normal jobs and see the other patients!!

It reminded me of one of my older posts. Character building.

Life isn't all about fun!! Doctor life isn't all about saving lives.. Life is as it is...


Ps: just another rant about lunches!! I've been getting lunch at 2 at the earliest, and have been getting it when I leave work 6pm, and the other day whilst on-call, had it at 8.20pm!!! This definitely doesn't suit my lifestyle!! hahaha ;p