I've always thought that it's a cliche when someone says peoples' lives depends on them doing their jobs right...
Well today, I realise people's lives are SERIOUSLY in my hands and I'm expected to do a good job... No, scrap that, I'm not expected to do a good job, I'm expected to do a brilliant job, without any major hiccoughs.. (or a tiny one for that matter...) Because, the second any one of us in the team (doctors, nurses, pharmacists etc) make one tiny mistake, that's it... It can lead to a huge mistake, which could potentially cost me my licence and therefore costing me my job, and my career and therefore my life...
I did something stupid, it's not quite stupid, but just doing what I normally do.. I must have been tired, because I did one tiny mistake (which could have been a big one).. My work has been checked by others in the team, which did not notice my mistake... How is it possible that a system with theoretically lots of checks fail to notice my mistake? Well it happens... Freaking human error innit?
My theory is that I now have the word Dr in the front of my name. That means that people take my words seriously, even if they've been in this job wayyyy longer than I have been (into my fourth week just now)...Which means that they have more experience than I do, and in that sense is more knowledgable... However, that's not how it works.. In this job, what I say goes, unless of course my seniors say otherwise... I am perceived to be a walking brain, because I have the title...
Well let's set the record straight, I am not a walking brain, I do not do jobs brilliantly all the time (although I do try my hardest every single bl**dy time), everyone makes mistakes, may it be small (as it was in this case, Thank God)... And it's a reminder to me (and perhaps to you too) - Always check your work - check it and check it again, until you're very sure that you've not made a mistake!!!
This tiny mistake had over-shadowed all the other good things and decisions I've done and made. It doesn't mean s**t that I've prescribed a patient antibiotics correctly and have improved her breathing and she's looking much better, it doesn't matter that I realised another patient needed some other medications prescribed for her, it doesn't matter that I treated a patient with the correct antibiotics, it doesn't matter that I've spoken to a patient and made her feel better and helped her in anyway I can... All that didn't count because I made that one tiny mistake which makes me feel like S**T... Sigh...
Such is life... Life depends on me to be on my very best!!!
Note to self: Check and check again!!!
lots of love,
xx
3 comments:
you can do it fets! i won't say don't worry, because it's probably healthy to worry with what you do...(not excessively) but i will say this - you are not the sum of your mistakes. alhamdulillah that it was a small mistake and don't forget to make dua'a....and we at 31 henbury trust you implicitly! (bet u didnt know i read your blog right???) love from WORTH5SHEEP2008 (K)
My darling Fish,
It's good at this very earliest stage in your career, you realised that you made a mistake, albeit a tiny one. It will make you more grounded, humble and humane. A title doesn't mean anything if it makes you arrogant, proud and know-it-all person and a person who doesn't listen. We don't know everything and even if we are the so-called experts, our knowledge is very minute in comparison to Allah's mightiest. In a nutshell, its attitude towards your whole cosmos. My advice is, put this experience down as a reminder that you are human, a vow to self - to be grounded and humble. To remember that just because you are a 'doctor', it doesnt mean that you are the most cleverest person on earth. With this mantra, it will make you a better person who are compassionate, professional and humble. It will also make you a brilliant doctor who appreciates the contributions from your patients and colleagues from the very lowest to the highest levels. Good Luck my darling. You have the make of a brilliant doctor with all the attributes aforementioned. You are an Ibrahim - that's why! HugsXXX
the last comment.. is this person who i think she is?
albeit, cosmos, grounded, nutshell.....
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